Peeling Banana Gummy, an Abomination

Where I live there used to be an adult toy store. The atmosphere within that store provided a sensory juxtaposition like no other. Despite the customer service being exemplary, rather than feeling comfortable it would just heighten the awkwardness of the situation. The air felt dusty and dry, yet it also had a certain quality of unpleasant stickiness that warped onto everything. This product is the gastronomic manifestation of that adult store.

To say this product is the highly synthetic simply does not do it justice. God did not have any hand in the creation of this, or if he did it would add insurmountable credibility to the ideals of the ancient Gnostics. The first thing you notice is not what one would describe as necessarily banana aroma, but rather the exceeding smell of acetate flavouring unmatched by any creation of man, woman, child or beast.

The external texture is extremely hard to describe simply, as it cannot seem to make up its mind as to wether it wants to be slippery, gripped, slimy or dry. The internal texture is somewhat more consistent as I would describe it as creamy yet it is still immeasurably strong flavoured. To the products sole credit, it is a creative and interesting idea that could stand to go back to the drawing board.

Score:

Texture: 1/4

Flavour: 2/4

Creativity: 3/4

Natural quality: 0/4

Overall Score: 37.5%